


Investigation Into The Death of Mary Sulinski

by Holkie



Series: Mordhaus [4]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Gen, Janet Strickland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:36:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10701822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holkie/pseuds/Holkie
Summary: This is my first time I wrote something for the Magic Rat's Mary Sue Must Die! challenge over on LJ.  The band is in, but in the background.Also, this is the first story that moves Janet into the Mordhaus universe.  Not a Gear yet, but it's coming.





	Investigation Into The Death of Mary Sulinski

The Investigation Into the Death of Mary Sulynski  
　  
The young police officer was shown into the empty smallish meeting room to set up. This was his first investigation into a death. It was shaping up to be an accidental death, but seeing as it happened at Mordhaus and Dethklok was involved, all the "I"s had to be dotted and all the "T" crossed. Screwing this up would kill his career.

The cop hadn't talked to any of the band members yet and he doubted he would be allowed to do so. Mr. Ofdensen, their lawyer/manger, was pretty clear on that. Even those the men had been present, there were enough other people around to get the facts from that he would not be troubling the band.

There was a knock on the door to the room and a young woman was ushered into the room by two large men in hoods and the uniform black of the Kloketeers. She looked down right tiny compared to how tall the Kloketeers were- about 5' feet 2" or 3" the cop thought- and a red head. Nice looking, but not stunning. But definitely a rocker chick who might hang around the band.  
The woman had been talking to the Kloketeers as they had entered the room. "…Mr. Ofdensen told me to just tell the truth about the accident. I'll be alright, ah, 4327."

"We'll be just outside the door, Janet. Just in case." The hooded man seemed to have a bit of a grin in the tune of his voice as he and his companion stepped back outside, leaving the door open.

The cop said, "Would you sit down, Miss?" as he started the tape recorder. (Mr. Ofdensen said he would get the security tape of the room the interrogation took place in. But he wanted to make sure nothing was…edited out.)

"Janet Strickland."

"And your relationship to Dethklok?"

"None." She said. "Well, not that kind of relationship. I work for Mr. Ofdensen in the library doing archaeological translations."

"Excuse me?"

Janet laughed lightly. "I always get that. I'm working on translations of some artifacts that Dethklok owns. I'm not a Gear if that is what you asking. Just an independent contractor for now."

"So you don't work for Dethklok directly?"

"No, nor am I a groupie."

"Have you met any member of Dethklok?"

"Is this about Dethklok or the poor woman?" Janet had courious look on her face rather than a condemning look. "Well, sort of. Mr. Wartooth and Mr. Explosion both wander through the library and sometimes stop and talk. Mr. Explosion seems interested in what I do, at least in some of what I translate. But I can't give you details about that."

"Oh?"

"Yes, Mr. Ofdensen said that is none of your business and has nothing to do with this investigation."

"Er, well…. Alright." The cop nervously moved his notebook around. "Alright, now, what can you tell me about the day of the accident?"

"Well, it was sort of a day off for me. Mr. Ofdensen wanted a progress report on my translations. Most of which were…. Er, I better not say.

"Anyway, this woman reporter, Mary Sulynski, had been hanging around Mordhaus and driving everyone crazy for a about a week. She was trying to get some gossip on the band. Or get into their pants. I don't know. She was one of those pretty airhead talking heads you see on the news."

"Yeah, I use to watch the channel she was on."

Janet nods. "One of these pretty people that looked more artificial than real. She tried to talk to me once and seemed upset when I couldn't give her any gossip. Like say that I had slept through the band or Skwisgaar likes this or whatever."

The woman sighed. "Could I get a glass of water?"

"Yes," the cop replied. But before he could even ask one of the Kloketeers at the door, one was bringing in a pitcher full of water with a couple of glasses.  
Janet grinned. "They're good."

"And very protective." The cop took one glass from the two that the Kloketeer poured for both of them.

"Yes, but then there are a few people after the band." Janet took a drink.

"Well, I was going to the public areas of the 'haus trying to find Mr. Ofdensen so I could give him my report. He hadn't been in his office. For some reason, he wants my reports given to him rather than me leaving them in his office.

"Well, I walked into the big… well, TV room, playroom, where the band hangs out. They were all there with this reporter and her TV crew. I guess she had finally cornered them into some on screen questions. Just to get rid of her I think. They did not look happy.

"She had been annoying them all week. Either flirting or trying to set them up with someone or…. I don't know. It was like she had these powers to turn them all in love with her.

"Well, the guys were not buying any of it. They would see her coming and take off in the other direction. I guess they thought if they gave her an interview, she would leave."

"Do you think they would have planned something to happen to get rid of her?"

Janet looked shocked. "Like sabotage that statue? Oh, no! Listen, Dethklok may like to portray themselves as brutal and metal and all that, but they are really sweethearts. As much as they tell the fans to go die, they would not harm a fly. I don't think they could attack anyone unless they were in danger, and I'm not sure they would then."

"But there has been so much death and destruction around them!"

Janet chuckled. "Yeah, it's the Dethklok curse. It's dangerous to be around them. But they are all accidental. You have never seen Dethklok shoot someone or stabbed anyone or even hit someone. Well, Nathan does sometimes."

The cop looked like he was going to say something, but changed his mind. He looked down at his notebook to marshal his thoughts. "Okay, well, what happened that day?"

"Well, I found them all in the… well, okay, games room, in the middle of the interview. Mr. Ofdensen was there and he waved me over to him to watch the interview. The cameras were rolling so we had to be quiet.

"The band looked like they did not want to be there. And they were barely answering Sulynski's questions. She was really turning on the charm, too. Almost sparkling.

"There was this sound, a crack, subtle, but both Mr. Ofdensen and I noticed it. We looked at each other. But no one else seemed to have heard it."

Janet took another drink of water. "You know, Mordhaus is a unique building. Most of it is new, modern despite it looking really old. There were a lot of artists who worked on it. But some of the statues are really old. Gargoyles from old castles or churches that have been pulled down. All of the ones in the games room are old. And yet the 'stonework' around them looks as old as them. But it's all new.

"Mr. Ofdensen knows I'm interested in that sort of thing from some of the digs I've been on. Yes, he did a through background check on me. And you. He doesn't let anyone close to Dethklok has not had a through checking out.

"Anyway, he arranged for me to get a good look at the gargoyles. I can say that they were all well and firmly mounted on that wall. Better than they had been mounted on their original castle.

"But there was that cracking noise again. Mr. Ofdensen seemed to figure out were it was coming from and looked up at one of the gargoyles, one that the reporter was right under, just seconds before it seemed to take off from wall and plunge down. Right at Sulynski.

"Like it was going after her."

"Ouch." The cop flinched.

"Very ouch." Janet grimaced. "It was a mess. Just blood everywhere. Mr. Explosion did say "Brutal", but then he usually does at things like that.

"I will say the band got out of there quickly. Happily I will admit. But then they didn't want to do the interview. The camera crew threw up. The Kloketeers began checking the other gargoyles to see if they were safe."

Janet looked thoughtful. "I will say one thing, officer, that gargoyle looked like it was grinning. And I know it did not have a grin before it fell. The head was above the floor and had not hit it or anything else on the way. But the face was changed and grinning."


End file.
